So it wasn’t Hillary.

     Senator Joe “Is This Mike On?” Biden has been picked by Barack Obama to be his running mate. If nothing else, Biden is insurance against the possibility of Senator Obama developing laryngitis.

     Joe Biden has a well-deserved reputation of being a chatterbox. He may not exceed the verbiage produced by the all-time champ, the late Vice President Hubert H. “I’m Happy to Be Here” Humphrey, but no one living has so perfectly motorized a mouth.

     On the plus side, Senator Biden is a well-regarded Senate veteran. If Obama is elected he will be able to liaison with the upper chamber very effectively. Biden is also expert in foreign affairs, although his idea to split Iraq up into a federation of independent states won no salute when he ran it up the proverbial flagpole.

     It must also be admitted that Sen. Biden occasionally puts his foot in his mouth. Plagiarizing a speech by British politician Neal Kinnock, when Biden first sought the democratic nomination, was not his finest hour.

     Nor was it a triumph when he said of Obama in January of last year, “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

      That doesn’t work on so many levels. The first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean? What is Jesse Jackson, then? Or Colin Powell? Or Condoleeza Rice? How do they fail to be articulate, bright and clean? Describing black men and women is a subtle put-down, inferring that blacks, as a people are somehow deficient in intelligence or language skills.

     But “clean” was Biden’s adjectival crusher. The other African-American politicians of our time are unclean? Does Biden mean in terms of physical hygiene or does he mean “clean” in terms of honesty and integrity? However he means it, it is a devastatingly racist thing to say. Next thing you know he will be making jokes about convenience store clerks from India…

     Perhaps the best thing about Joe Biden is that he is not Hillary Clinton –at least if you, dear reader, wish to have Obama win this election.

     Hillary was a trap, a temptation that Obama probably did not have a lot of trouble resisting. Aside from the fact that he fails to find any affinity for her; there is also her baggage.

     Hillary would bring to the campaign a lot of unanswered questions about her behavior during the eight years of her husband’s presidency. Old issues would be dredged up, washed off and put on the table again.

     Hillary’s hub, ex-President Clinton, would also distract attention from Obama’s message. Everything he would say in public would be weighed to see if he was truly “enthusiastically” supporting Obama or damning him with faint praise –or outright criticism. This would happen quite a bit because right after Joe Biden, Bill Clinton is the biggest motor mouth in politics. The campaign would be about the Clintons, not Obama.

      Now it is John McCain’s turn to decide on a vice presidential running mate. If he’s smart he will announce the name right after this week’s Democratic Convention ends, to steal the publicity from Obama on what should be his biggest day of “bounce.”

     I propose he nominate General David Petraeus. Petraeus turned a losing war into a victory, so we know he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Or, if he had not already been co-opted by the Obama campaign, Colin Powell.

     Condi Rice would be a good choice, as would be Mike Huckabee. Condi Rice, the first black woman nominee, is extremely qualified for the job having been National Security advisor and Secretary of State. Huckabee, the former Arkansas governor, is a conservative with solid evangelical support.

     And then there is Mitt.

     Don’t get me wrong; I personally like Mitt Romney. He looks presidential. Even if can’t deliver Massachusetts for McCain he might be able to deliver Michigan, where dad George Romney is fondly remembered. He is a successful businessman whose acumen played a big role in saving the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics. He brings economic credibility to the ticket.

     Mitt, a Mormon, does not play well with evangelicals, however. And this is a year when McCain cannot afford to alienate his base. Also, Mitt’s conversion to conservatism is quite recent and reeks of expediency. I hope he finds being pro-life and pro-capital punishment to be at least refreshingly different.

     Finally, if the primary season this year proved anything, it proved that Romney is not a winner. Therefore, without hesitation, I predict McCain will pick Romney, if only to be contrary.

     It’s a good thing that in the end, voters really don’t care or even remember who the vice presidential picks were come November.